Halloween Costumes….

halloween costumesGoogle Search “Women’s Halloween Costumes”. The photo above is what you’re greeted with…. 

What is the deal these days? Everything for my age group is short, slutty, and cheap satin? Gross.

Now, we’ve talked about this before, my ass is large. All these “costume” options? Yeah, hello ass. Nice to see you. I wish this cheap fabric that cost me 50 bucks actually covered you. Is it breezy in here?!

Buzzfeed actually did a very interesting article on the costume nature. (as well as an article about all the clothes women have been told not to wear in 2014)…

Luckily, I grew up with a SUPER talented mother who is pretty much a fairy godmother/wizard with a sewing machine. She made all of my Halloween costumes, even the ones I made up… Princess Blue Star anyone? Which I then realized actually WAS a real character, she’s whats-his-names’s daughter from the Chronicles of Narnia, Voyage of the Dawn Treader. . yeah.

Direct Quote from home video: Dad- and what are you Melissa? Me - I'm a princess daddy, can't you see my crown?!
Direct Quote from home video:
Dad- and what are you Melissa?
Me – I’m a princess daddy, can’t you see my crown?!

(ps, rocking the side swept bangs circa 1992, so fashion forward)

Trini, the Yellow Power Ranger
Trini, the Yellow Power Ranger
Ariel, The Little Mermaid
Ariel, The Little Mermaid, yes, I’m watching the movie as well in this photo. I did that a lot.

I had many wonderful costumes when I was little, but when I got to college I realized I had no sewing ability and would have to shell out the 50 bucks for a “costume”. Cue Batgirl.

BatGirl Freshman year
BatGirl 2006

I actually loved it, and I still have it today (I’ve repeated that costume a few times, so shoot me). However, our first party stop on campus some creep literally slid his hand down the back of me & grabbed my ass to say hello. NOT ok. Why do some men think this is acceptable!? I did NOT give you permission to touch me at all. How is it that a costume elicits such behavior? Many will say “well, you were asking for it in that outfit”. Was I? Pretty sure I wasn’t. Was it subconscious? I was completely covered, I even wore shorts underneath.

It made me angry; I didn’t even see his face. And I was too slow to react as he maneuvered away into the throng of people piling into the tiny townhouse.

BatGirl 2012
recycled BatGirl 2012

Side Note: Also that year, the freshman on the softball team decided to do a group costume… what up Harlem Globe Trotters!

Harlem Globe Trotters 2006
Harlem Globe Trotters 2006

I figured out by the end of my 4 years that if I thought of a costume early enough, mom would still make it, so, for my senior year my boyfriend at the time decided he wanted us to be Aladdin and Jasmine.

Aladdin & Jasmine 2011
Aladdin & Jasmine 2009

Pretty sweet right.

Well, I got lazy again last year and did a last minute costume for an adult party I attended. Adult party. That’s weird to say. Luckily, I was able to find a red puffer vest and put together an awesome Marty McFly costume.

Marty McFly 2013
Marty McFly 2013

Since I usually have some fundamental issue with repeating a costume, on the actual evening of handing out candy, I threw on a pair of leopard ears and a party hat… Party Animal.

COME ON. That’s Punny. #SorryImNotSorry

Party Animal
Party Animal

grinch ooh

I have no idea what I’m going to attempt to dress up as this year. Heck, I don’t even know what I’m carving into my pumpkin! My last 2 pumpkins have been pretty bomb. No joke.

Batman's Bane
Batman’s Bane
Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon
Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon, (dad’s is on the right)

Here’s the thing though. Regardless of what costume you decide on. No one has the right to make moves on you unless you verbally give them approval. No, you do not get to be branded as “asking for it” because of the clothing you wear. That’s harassment. It’s just like any other day or night out. Keep your hands to your damn self. Or did someone miss that lesson in first grade?

grinch not going

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