I needed an excuse to watch this video again 🙂
“I’m Sorry.” Two little words that hold little meaning. They are just words unless there is some action to back it up. You can say “I’m sorry” until you’re blue in the face, but until there is concrete attempt to change the action that you’re sorry for. I don’t believe it.
Here’s the thing, apologizing is the first step towards mending whatever was said, done, broken. We teach children this all the time – There’s an old story still circulating about a teacher asking her students to wad up a piece of paper into the tightest ball they can. Then unfolding it and apologizing, but pointing out that the creases are still there because words can hurt. Another story talks about smashing a plate and then saying “I’m sorry” but the plate is still broken, you can’t put everything back together the same way once broken. So we want children to understand the weight of their words & actions but we don’t hold ourselves to that same standard?
I believe there are so many trust issues in today’s world because we assume that apologizing fixes the hurt delivered in the original act, but then we continue doing the same act and wonder why nothing else changes. (another of my favorite stories is here for you to read).
Here’s the thing – if you apologize for an action that you are unhappy about or that hurt someone else, recognize what led to that action and be conscious of it in the future. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, work is stressing me out and I have a lot going on at home”, I understand that – life happens. However when you add “it’s not fair to you” at the end of it, I will expect some small change to come around, whether that’s through more communication, attempts to spend tiny increments of time together or saying “you know what, I have too much on my plate right now and I can’t risk making you feel disposable so I’m sorry, but I need to focus on me and not keep you waiting”. Great! Thank you for being an adult and analyzing your own situation!
We can’t always do it all, sometimes God puts a lot on our plate and we just need to buckle down and get through it. It happens to all of us, but assuming a quick apology will fix the situation is childish. We’re better than that. Keeping someone on the bench doesn’t do anything for either party – The Coach keeping them there is just being selfish, padding the roster, not utilizing their skills. The one on the bench wants so much more, and could give it or take it elsewhere if given the chance. Time to think differently.
I’ll give you another recent example –
“Would you like to go to dinner?” Sure! What time and where?
“*insert name of restaurant* at 7pm” Great see you then!….
2 days later a follow up to confirm plans are still on, however the response is “no 😦 But will you meet us out later?” ummm no, I agreed to dinner with you, not all your buddies and being outnumbered.
“Oh, well I wasn’t planning on going anywhere today because it’s supposed to rain” Wait a minute, you ask me to dinner, I confirm, and now you’re not planning on going anywhere after being at the pool all day with your buddies? Are you Kidding Me!?
“sorry” yeah, no. Bye Felicia.
Sorry means nothing. Start backing up your Sorry with something better.